November 21, 2004

Who are we, and what makes us that way?

I had a conversation last night with one of my few friends here in BN, and we debated what makes up who we are. We differed on two main points, his being that we are who we are because we want to be that way, and mine being that our past affects who we are, and the decisions we make. I think that while we should not allow our pasts to affect us in negative ways, it is none the less going to affect us because it has shaped our view of the world. He argues that our past has no bearing on our future, where I think it does, maybe not in a big way, but it is there, affecting the way we think, or the way we make decisions. I am not who I am Because of my past, I am who I am despite of it, and I have strived to overcome difficulties to be who I am today, but I am foolish if I think I can just toss my past aside like it never happened, because when I least expect it, it will come back to haunt me, and has the potential to destroy whatever it may be that I am working on or towards.
I also had another discussion last night with a few friends around the table outside our little hooch, on decision making. I have a few tough decisions to make and essentially it comes down to, do I go with the known, the steady, the reliable, but where I would be entering another's already established world, or do I go with the unknown, the unproven, but where there is a beginning. There are pro's and cons to both, and I have been giving it a lot of thought. A friend pointed out that I am still young, that there is still much time for me to make my mistakes, that I can recover from them should that be the case. But therein lies my problem, I can't make mistakes, it's just not me. I am afraid of falling down the wrong rabbit hole, so to speak.
Enough drearieness for me LOL. I had the enjoyable opportunity to play cards with the supreme chaplaincy (as they termed it) here in Iraq last night before dinner, and I had a most enjoyable time trying to beat the chaplains hands, as he seemed to have extraordinary luck getting very good hands LOL. No cheating mind you, just good fortune (Thankfully we weren't playing for cash, I'd be broke LOL) I did win one hand though:-D
I slept in a wee bit this morning, 30 minutes past the time my alarm should have gone off. The irony is that 30 minutes before mine went off, my room mates went off and I heard hers, but she didn't wake up and when mine went off, she woke up, but I didn't LOL.


Garrison Steelle said...

Sounds like an interesting evening. :) I'm convinced there are some questions for which there are no universally true answers, and you hit on one of them. The challenge lies in the fact that there is truth in multiple opinions, so declaring one as supreme is impossible.

You took on the Chaplain? Uhm, you DO realize they get help, don't you? (Remembering scenes from M*A*S*H of the chaplain cleaning house "for the Widows and Orphans fund.")


JUST A MOM said...

Good morning , nice to hear about down time. My feeling is you are given a past either it is good or bad and it is your choice to do with it as you choose. Change or keep what you feel will make a happy, productive, you.

Choices can really stink, taking a step out of the box can be a risk, not knowing what will be in the future. But is there potential to learn from it? Is there potential to give, through it?
Always remember mistakes are temperary, they can be turned around. They are there to teach us.

Just a couple thoughts, Hang in there!

Dennis said...

Keep hanging around those chaplains, you can't go wrong!

Simran said...

Hey I think I just saw that MASH epsiode...hehe...of course then again i think they play cards in EVERY episode... ;)

I agree with Lizzie...the past does shape us like a river carving out the rock...

take care

Mummy said...

Well of course the past shapes us and has impact on who we are but then again it is we who choose daily whether it will be a good impact or otherwise. We can choose to learn from our live then let go of the hurts or wecan keep living the same patterns over and over foolishly believing this time I will get it right. You are great at learning for other peoples live and mistakes but maybe not so great at looking honestly at your own and learning from them.

I love you!!!